First day in my new journal. So much promise. Where will life take me as I fill these pages? Where will I be when I reach the last page? If its anything like how my life has been, probably some place I would never really expect or imagine. But it will be wonderful. And it will be a grand adventure getting there. Hopefully, I’ll come out a bit wiser, and with a few great stories to tell. Likely, a few more scares, but hopefully also with a deeper appreciation for this world and especially for the people that make up mine.
There will undoubtedly be many tears. And I tend to write more about the pain and the struggles than the positive times. I might give you a wrong impression of my life if you didn’t know me in person, and were to only re my journal. But I would to think its because in the good moments, I’m too busy out living them and being present to spend much time writing
What I do tend to write often are my prayers. They are desires of my heart. My deep longings. I don’t know if writing them helps them to feel more real, but I like to write my heart thoughts to God. Maybe that means one day I’ll be able to look back and see how He answered me. How he was working in my life and my heart in ways I wouldn’t have even guessed at the time.
I also want to make a very conscious, deliberate, thought to write down the things each day for which I’m thankful. These are the things that you don’t want to ever forget.
Lord, I ask that you guide me. I want to fully submit myself to Your will. I stand here with my hands open. Open to receive all that you would give me. And open to let go whatever you would take from me as well. Help to trust You. Just please be gentle. I’m very afraid of the pain that comes from growth. I suppose, however, that is one of the main ways that we are able to experience growth; through difficulties, struggles, and often pain.
Hold me so close to you, Lord. Help me to be so aware of Your presence. Lord, fill me with your wisdom. Let me not take any step that is away from You.
Thank you from bringing me here to Ecuador. It really is a very beautiful country. I am very blessed that I get to be part of life here. The people I meet, even this work that I get to do. Thank you for this opportunity. Let me make the most of it, living for your glory. Let me always remember that it is for your glory that I am to do all things. I want to follow you. Guide me.